Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Potty Straining

I promised myself I would never post about potty-training.

And yet, here I am, posting.

After a failed TWO-week attempt SIX months ago, I decided to "take TWO" this week.  In THIRTY-SIX hours, we've had FOUR Number ONE accidents and ONE Number TWO accident.  All to get my THREE and a HALF year old boy to graduate into ONE big boy!

The numbers, the numbers...

Dear son.  To maintain my sanity (and by proxy, your own), you must agree to the following:

1.) You must tell me before you wet your pants that you need to pee.  It's rather pointless to tell me after you've created a new swimming pool on the floor.

2.) You must agree to give up sitting on all sofas, recliners, rugs or anything absorbent.  

3.)  Actually, you may as well agree to move outside until such a time as you can make it to the toilet before creating aforementioned swimming pools.

4.)  You shall not take your stuffed animals, pillows, blankets or anything absorbent to your new location outside.  

5.)  You shall agree never to invite your baby sister to play anywhere in close proximity to your soiled underclothes.  And by close, I mean at least a distance of six miles.  

6.) You shall learn to do your own laundry, starting now.

7.)  I am well aware of the psychological trauma that experts say can accompany this phase of life.  Don't you dare blame any of your present or future troubles on "bad potty-training."

8.)  Infractions of any of the above will result in ear-piercing shrieks from that person you call "Mommy."

Since you cannot spell yet, please sign X on the dotted line.  


This Frustrated Mommy

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